March 21, 2005
Home Depot: A procrastinator's dream
UPDATE (April 4, 2005): Terry Storch provides an even more compelling argument for abandoning Home Depot: Lowe's does a better job. Terry may just be "one little person blogging about this," but I have to thank him for doing the research.ORIGINAL POST
Last weekend, as with many weekends, I spent some quality time at Home Depot. And every second of the eight hours I spent there was a veritable joy. Not to mention the endless hours I spent traveling back and forth to return faulty products I purchased of my own volition or products I purchased based on misinformation from one of the oh-so-helpful staff. What a service they provide.
I love Home Depot, because when I go there, I never have to do anything around the house. Guaranteed. I am confident that the lack of service will translate into a 90-minute excursion, minimum, even if it's only for one item. My wife, apparently, is not as happy with this level of service. But I am. Because I didn't really want to do anything, anyway.
I live within 10 minutes of two Home Depots. I like to alternate my trips between the two, just because I'm amazed at the consistency of service. Thumbs up to the management. These Home Depots, like every other Home Depot I've ever visited, are right in line with the service standards. Consistently slow. Consistently uninformed. Consistently disrespectful. Brilliant.
Did you know that Home Depot claims to employ more Olympic hopefuls than any other company? It's true. All I've deduced is that they must not employ any sprinting hopefuls. And it's painfully apparent that there is no Olympic event focused on customer service. Either that or they're all out back, practicing their craft, instead of wandering the floor like their cohorts, chanting, "This isn't my section. I can't help you with that."
Maybe I'm just building the wrong stuff? Maybe if I wanted to build a triple-jump pit or a bobsled, I'd get better service at the good old Home Depot? Maybe they should rename it Olympic Depot?
And I must admit, none of this lack-of-service would have seemed out of the ordinary, last weekend, as I've grown all too used to this level of service, or lack thereof. But I blew it. Yes, all of Home Depot's hard work to make me feel worthless and insignificant was for not. See, I also made another quick trip to a local hardware store. A-Boy Hardware. It's an Ace Hardware affiliate. And it's not all A-Boy's, mind you. It's the one in Tigard, Oregon, on Main Street.
Now, my little A-Boy doesn't have the selection of Home Depot. And its hours aren't always agreeable to my home-improvement schedule. And its prices may be a touch higher. But when I can go there, I do. And here's why:
1) I'm greeted at the door.
2) The person who greets me welcomes me and asks why I'm there.
3) If I need assistance, they walk me to the item(s) I need, and remain there until all of my questions are answered.
4) If they can't answer my question, they find someone who can, even it means calling someone to whom I can speak on the phone.
5) If they don't carry it, they give me a variety of options for ordering it, or they suggest other hardware stores in town that carry it.
6) If I've purchased something in a box, they ask me to open the box and check it before I leave.
7) If it's a large item, they ask me if I need help loading it.
And this isn't a random occurrence. It happens every single time I'm there. The only problem is that it's a small hardware store. So, more often than I would prefer, I'm forced to go to one of the large "home improvement" stores, like Home Depot.
And in all honesty, some days (read most) I'm lazy. I don't want to do anything. And that makes Home Depot my first choice. If only there were a TV to watch while I was waiting for someone to tell me they don't know anything, I would be in procrastinator's bliss.
Unfortunately, my wife has discovered my secret A-Boy resource and she has grown tired of my Home Depot excuses. So my days of wasting untold hours at Home Depot may soon be over. Alas and alack.
In fact, after last weekend's adventures, we've decided to hire a contractor to finish the job. I figure the money I save on gas, not driving back and forth to return items, will pay for most of the bill.
I just hope they're not billing me for the time they spend at Home Depot.
Home Depot: A procrastinator's dream
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