hypocritical : talking the talk without walking the walk

October 21, 2005

Want comments on your blog?

UPDATE (October 24, 2005): While I seriously doubt that my post was any influence for this, Paul Davidson of Words for My Enjoyment delivers a poignant and well-written post on the topic of comments. Clearly, it does the post below one better... and gets comments to boot. Great deal of time on your hands? Continue reading my post. Interested in something that deals with the topic and has an eye toward brevity? Read Today's Post Will Have More Comments Than Ever Before.


ORIGINAL POST

There has been a great deal of talk about "blogs as conversations." And yet, by and large, the professed "conversation" is really just a cacophonous multitude of soliloquies from so many digital Hamlets holding their Yorick skulls and whining.

Which leads me to stroke my chin and stare toward the heavens as I wonder why it is that so very few bloggers have mastered the fine art of eliciting comments from their readers. Why, oh why, is this proverbial conversation, for which we all seemingly thirst, really not taking place?

Because most bloggers don't really want comments. They're not interested in having a conversation.

I'm a prime example. Read practically any entry in hypocritical and you'll see. I take a certain holier-than-thou, professorial-lecture tact with my blog entries. I drone on and on and on, waxing philosophic on all sorts of topics. Exploring the depths of my intellect and wowing you, gentle reader, with mind-bending leaps of intuition that I seem to think could only be conjured within the sugar walls of my superior brain. On and on and on, I drone. While you, trying to patient, continue to slog through, trying to find a point.

Yet, with utter disrespect for your time or interests, I continue to revel in the power of my bully pulpit. Broadcasting my views. Asking you to hold your questions until the end of my lecture. Smirking smugly as I make oh-so-witty comments, here and there.

And then, finally, when I've finished my sermon, I patronizingly ask--meaning practically beg--you for your opinions, condescending or otherwise. Suggest some topics for you to discuss. Give you some leads for the starts of your comments.

But do I really want you to comment? No. No, I don't even want you to think, really. What I want is to have you tell me how smart I am. How I've somehow plumbed the depths of the subject in new and exciting ways. How I'm a genius who has shared such intellectually stimulating insight that you can die a happy person. That I've somehow touched you with the healing power of E.T.'s glowing appendage.

But I don't really want a conversation. I want praise. Or rejection. One or the other, perhaps both. But I don't want a conversation. I don't actually want to engage or disagree.

Why would I subconsciously choose to write this way? Because I don't really want to have a conversation. Or start a debate. I simply want you to like me. To like what I write. And to come back and visit from time to time. Maybe send me a card during the holidays.

I don't want to discuss or converse. I want to lecture. And the lack of comments here show that. This is never going to be a heavily commented blog, because it really has very little edge. It takes very little risk. It just pontificates and postulates. To put it bluntly, it ain't got no teeth. It's a creative writing exercise, with some insight thrown into it, every once in a great while.

Link sites, while at least more terse than the oodles of fluff that choke this site, aren't much better, to be quite honest. Like hypocritical, they're built with the hope of impressing. With the hope of being the first to find the cool site. Or at least holding the honor for being the first source to inform you of the cool site. Or give you the insight on the latest gadget or Apple toy.

But are they looking to load up the comments? No, because there is really nowhere to go. What's the comment? Ass-kissing? "Great link," "Wish I'd found that link," "You guys always find the best stuff."

In reality, the link bloggers aren't really seeking anything more than what I'm seeking. They're looking for an audience that likes them and that keeps coming back. An audience that trusts them and wants to continue reading what they write. Or listening to what they say. Or lauding them for work well done. But they don't want a real conversation any more than I do.

We're kind of like stand-up comedians or op-ed journalists. Just like us. Don't talk back. Don't heckle.

So now that I've lectured you, yet again, perhaps it's time to actually get to my point.

How does one get more comments on their blog? How do you start the conversation with your readers? How do you get the trackbacks and the comments and the discussion rolling? How do you get those double-digit--maybe even triple digit--numbers that will impress your dates or your spouse?

Not too get all on Ockham on you, but what you do is this: You actually start a conversation. You take a position. You take a risk. You express an opinion. Contrary or otherwise.

Staying short and to the point doesn't hurt either. Don't look to explain the intricacies of your reasoning. Don't back up the argument with all the thought behind your postulate. Just state it. Throw the first jab. And then wait for the audience to engage.

It's quite simple really.

Imagine, for example, you're at a cocktail party. With other people I mean. Not the private cocktail party you have while trying to make it through another one of these diatribes. A real one.

Okay? Are you there? Are you doing the hustle?

Now, think about it. Would you rather stand and listen to some egomaniac like me drone on and on about some subject on which he thinks he's an expert or would you rather go talk to the person who asks you a question and waits for you to respond? The person who says "This is stupid!" or the person who wants to prattle on about the naivete of those poor saps who succumb to the stupidity?

I think it's pretty obvious.

So how do you get more comments on your blog? Converse with your audience. Take a risk. Engage. Stir up some controversy. Cover a topic that might not be "safe." Assume that you're right. Have some confidence and make a decided point.

But do it briefly and with a clear opening for the audience to respond.

If the lecture bloggers are the stand-up comics, then the conversationalist bloggers are the performance artists. Down there in the trenches, mucking it up with the folks.

They may still ride a holier-than-thou high horse, but they'll get down off that horse to mix it up. They'll argue. They'll disagree. They'll incite and instigate. Because it makes good conversation. And it keeps the conversation from being dull. And keeps it from becoming an awkward silence.

What's that? Examples? But, I already gave you hypocritical as an example. Oh examples of conversations? Well, there are some folks who do this exceptionally well, but I would recommend the following blogs. Why am I recommending them? Simply because I am always amazed at the number of comments that they have on any given post.

These blogs are truly "blogs as conversations." All of them with comments comments comments: And, of course, after reading the list and looking at the blogs, you'll notice the chicken-or-the-egg quandary about these sites. You'll say I took the easy route. You'll whine and moan that all of those sites have huge traffic. But did they always have huge traffic? And did they get the huge traffic by starting the conversation or are they able to start the conversation by having such a huge number of readers? Why don't you start exploring the conversationalist technique and see?

So, to summarize, if you want to converse, converse. If you want to lecture, lecture. But don't expect your blog to be a conversation if you're just talking at someone. It just won't work. It requires a specific tact. And most of the blogs and bloggers out there don't want any of it.

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