Read Emotional Design if the next emotion you're looking to convey is robots

Robots.

I read a book on design and what do I come away with? Robots. Okay, a strange teapot sort of thing and a borderline unhealthy obsession with Isaac Asimov. Yes, this is true.

But robots, you've got to give me robots.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I see beyond Asimov's laws of robotics to something far more trivial. His sideburns. Man oh man. Has he got me beat. Someday, maybe someday. Of course, now I'll never post a photo of myself here, living in fear that my sideburn envy will be publicly revealed and I'll die alone and depressed from the unending ridicule.

But, shockingly, I digress. Where were we?

Ah yes, Emotional Design: Why we love (or hate) everyday things by Donald A. Norman.

You likely know Don Norman (it's not like we're tight, but that's how his Web site references him, so I'm going to play "overly familiar") as the less vilified half of the namesake for the revered Nielsen Norman Group. The more vilified half, of course, being Jakob Nielsen, the usability expert that everyone loves to hate. Or call a hypocrite. Or whatever.

Again, with Jakob, sideburns. Hmmm. Deeper insight into Don's psyche and more confidence for me to call him "Don." You English Lit types, take note. This is what we like to call a "recurring theme."

But I don't even want to mention Jakob, because who knows what kind of "sympathizer" comments will soon start appearing here. No, I'm not looking to become one of the hunted in the Web's own little McCarthyism. Rather, I'd like to focus on Mr. Norman and his book.

So let's do that.

Emotional Design. Is it really about that? Not so far as I can remember. All I can remember is that it's about robots. And, to be fair, there's not really all that much about robots. But to be unfair, that's all I can remember. Robots. Robots. Robots. Because I didn't expect the book to devolve into a "how we're going to build better robots" kind of piece. But that's exactly what I got.

And it started out so well. Chock full of promise and pithy quotes like:

Attractive things make people feel good, which in turn makes them think more creatively.

This is the kind of reinforcing-my-own-self-delusions fodder I crave. The stuff that makes my high horse ride a little higher.

But, here's the thing: the whole book is a setup to get you to the robots. And I don't even think he really gets into the whole robot thing until about 150 pages into it. But the whole 149 pages before that? Robot setup. Dragging you into his web. Getting you to nod in agreement. Oh yes, Mr. Norman, absolutely. You speak the truth as no other. Tell it brother.

And as we're all swaying to the rhythm and starting to speak in tongues. He hits us with it.

As machines become more and more capable, taking on many of our roles, designers face the complex task of deciding just how they shall be constructed, just how they will interact with one another and with people. Thus for the same reason that animals and people have emotions, I believe that machines will also need them.

What the...?

I feel as if I've just been sitting through some timeshare pitch. That I plunked down $15.95 through which to sit. Robots? Are you kidding me? Robots? Where's my helicopter ride? Better yet, where's the door? I can't believe I got suckered into this "you're going to have to build emotion into robots" schtick. I feel like a schmuck.

But that's not really the part that upset me. I think the part that upset me was the Norman suddenly becomes a proponent for thoughtful design so that we can sit around on our ever-expanding American tukuses as these weeping and frustrated machines do our every bidding. Now, there's progress for you. The drink bot gets frustrated and tells the dishwasher bot to eff off, so that we play Louis XIV, with our motorized servants scampering about our automated estate?

How will my toaster ever get better, making toast the way I prefer, unless it has some pride?

I've got a better question: Who cares?

I thought this was a book on design. But Emotional Design isn't that kind of design. It's robot love. In a kind of welcome-to-Westworld sort of utopian approach.

Speaking of which, Westworld is being remade. See? This is the point in this post where I lead you down the same primrose path that Don led me. All this blather to learn that there's a Westworld remake coming to theaters near you. Which is great, because everyone knows that the Logan's Run remake will need some competition to prevent it from becoming a critical bellweather.

Again, you English Lit types, wake up. Robots. Robots. Robots. Westworld is all about robots. Get it? Get it? Oh forget it.

And I was just hoping to make my creative direction a little more thoughtful. Luckily, if we can get to the point of creating an affected-artist robot, I no longer need to worry.

Technorati tags: Robot, Design, EmotionalDesign, Emotional Design