Mythbusting marketing communications platitudes

UPDATE (March 16, 2007): Just wanted to mention that there's a post over on More than a living that continues this rant, entitled "Know thy enemy: 100 ways to kill a concept."

ORIGINAL POST:

Maybe I'm just attuned to stupid.

I guess I could really just stop there.

Oh wait.

Maybe I'm just attuned to stupid--and incorrect--marketing communications platitudes as of late. Or maybe there are just more of them flying around these days. More myths.

We're bandying them about like there is no tomorrow. Myths of marketing communications. Things we say all of the time. Things we say to reassure ourselves that our inadequacies are okay.

If you're in a room and you hear one of these, I suggest you head for your nearest exit. If it's your boss or co-worker saying it, reprimand them. If it's your client, reprimand them.

In no particular order:

X doesn't matter.
People like to utter this one when they're up against a deadline. We have to do this, this, and this. Do a good job on the first two. The third doesn't matter.

Guess what? They all matter. No matter how well you do on the first two, the one on which you didn't spend any time will be the one people remember.

We have to do x.
This one tends to surface during pitches or assignments. It's a tell, belying sheer laziness, masquerading as rigor and valor.

Guess what? No matter what the rules say, you don't have to do anything. In fact, most people appreciate a fresh take on the problem. (Be forewarned. These myths travel in groups. Accepting that you have to do something usually directly follows "X doesn't matter." As in "X doesn't matter. We have to do x.")

They didn't ask us to do x.
Do you seriously think the person assigning the task was cogent enough to think through every single permutation of the potential solution? And if so, why are they asking you? Couldn't they just tell you the right thing to do? Maybe thinking about it differently and suggesting some potential, creative solutions would be wise?

Guess what? People who continually do exactly what I ask them to do, every single time, usually wind up doing less and less for me. I quit asking them. Because they're boring. And because they are not adding anything. I'd rather ask the psycho who comes up with the crazy ideas. Don't give me "reliable" as an excuse. Be reliably crazy on a regular basis.

They'll never notice x.
Yes. They will. Trust me.

We don't have time to do x.
Then we don't have time for this project, either.

You're such an x.
Okay, this one isn't a myth. You caught me. This is what people say to me when I reprimand them. Someday, I'd like to be an x of mythical proportions.