hypocritical : talking the talk without walking the walk

June 29, 2007

Does the preemptive upsell ever work? Ever?

Okay.

I frequent fast-food establishments. Probably a little more than I should. But I do.

And lately, it's become increasingly obvious that the preemptive upsell is rapidly ascending to the preeminent way of interacting with customers. Which leads me to ask: Does this stupid technique ever work? Ever?

What's a "preemptive upsell"? What? You don't like me blathering on about amorphous concepts?

A preemptive upsell--until I can come up with a better phrase--is when someone offers you something before you've even begun your conversation.

It usually sounds something like this: "Welcome to [where ever]! Can I interest you in a [food item]?"

Now, I don't know if this is a commentary on the idiocy of the general populous or what. But how many people fall for this?

Take a look at this gut. Do I look like I've just stumbled into your fast-food establishment for the first time? Do I seem struck by some Jamesian blooming, buzzing confusion in these strange, cartoonish surroundings? Have you rapidly assessed that am I clearly unable to effectively articulate that which would slake my hunger?

No, no, and no. You've simply been told by your management to assault every customer with this prattling, emotionless question.

Does this technique ever work? Do you ever fall for it? I mean, really.

Well, I came in here for a burger. But come to think of it, that mayonnaise-on-a-stick does sound pretty tasty. Yes, I'll definitely have the mayo-on-a-stick. What's my name again? Where am I?

I just don't get it.

But if people tell me that this works, I'm going to start doing it, too.

Welcome to hypocritical! Can I interest you in a marketing communications strategy?

 



Does the preemptive upsell ever work? Ever?
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