hypocritical : talking the talk without walking the walk

November 09, 2005

All work and no blogging makes for a dull feed

My apologies for lack of vacuous wit, as of late. An extremely hectic work schedule has sapped my time, my bile, and my creativity.

With the holidays rolling into town in quick order, you can be sure that I'll soon be back on my usual writing jag, thanks in part to the endless fodder that holiday-time-marketing drivel seems to provide. That, and I'll want all you good boys and girls to have plenty to read during your time off.

Again, thanks for your patience. It's not you. It's me.

 

All work and no blogging makes for a dull feed

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November 05, 2005

Microsoft can't use PowerPoint either


Microsoft Live platform
Originally uploaded by niallkennedy.
A picture is worth a thousand words. Several thousand. And if someone has those several thousand words that explains what--in the name of all that is good, clean, clear, and concise--Mr. Gates thought this slide described, I would love to hear it.

Oy vey. Yet another reminder to head over to Presentation Zen for solace.


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Microsoft can't use PowerPoint either

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November 02, 2005

Interland technical difficulties resolved (maybe?)

Hopefully, we're getting the bugs worked out of the box on which hypocritical lives. (I've no idea why we're seeing errors. Code has not changed, beyond copy, in months.) We shall see.

We're currently running. I apologize for the inconvenience. We now return you to your regularly scheduled and generally unengaging marketing fluff.

 

Interland technical difficulties resolved (maybe?)

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Interland technical difficulties, yet again

Yet again, the friendly folks at Interland seem to making fixes that break hypocritical. My apologies to the readers for the errors. I'll alert you again when the site is accessible.

 

Interland technical difficulties, yet again

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November 01, 2005

Cease & Desist: Blackbelt associations independent of the martial arts

Dear Sirs & Madames,

Re: Use of the phrase "BLACK BELT OR BLACKBELT IN [BUSINESS FUNCTION]" to describe roles or levels of expertise in a organization

It has come to our attention that you have made a (rather bad and annoying) habit of using the phrase "BLACK BELT OR BLACKBELT IN [BUSINESS FUNCTION]" to describe roles in the organization, as if the person in question had developed significant skill in martial arts and self defense. For example, the "Let's ask Bob to save us from the intruders. He's the Six Sigma Black belt around here."

Our primary issues with your use of this phrase in a business setting are as follows:

1. Even if, at some point, the employee you describe possessed the ability to perform particular aspects of the martial arts at some point in their life (which is highly doubtful), they have long since lost the ability to do so. In fact, it is highly unlikely that they know their Gi from a hole in the ground.

2. Any of these so-called "black belts" when faced with an assailant of some skill in martial arts, like, say, your 8 year-old nephew who possesses a yellow belt from the local McDojo, would likely crumble into a whimpering mass on the floor, screaming "I'm only a CPA! Don't hurt me." This leaves your entire organization at substantial risk should it be set upon by a roving band of Sarbanes-Oxley-infected ninja.

3. Martial arts black belts are generally made of cloth, not the cheap naugahyde leather that your Six Sigma black belt sports about the office.

You have 24 HOURS to remove the offending language from corporate literature, Web pages, internal email, instant messages, meetings, conversations, and urinal/restroom banter. Please confirm in writing that you have done so.

Failing this, we will apply for an injunction, and will also seek to recover costs and damages (plus interest) for your tortious and torturous acts and conduct.

This is our final communication to you on this matter. We look forward to hearing from you as a matter of urgency and sanity.

Sincerely,
Those concerned about the English language

cc: The Oxford English Dictionary, Webster's Dictionary, American Heritage Dictionary, Chicago Manual of Style, Strunk, White, Judo, Karate, et al.

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Cease & Desist: Blackbelt associations independent of the martial arts

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