hypocritical : talking the talk without walking the walk

September 21, 2006

Portland Trail Blazers Jobs: Vice President of Marketing

Give me a sec.

Phew.

This is quite a shock.

The Portland Trail Blazers are looking to hire a Vice President of Marketing.

Abhorrent ticket sales, a PR nightmare that never ends, a series of "rebuilding years" for the foreseeable future. What's not to like?

I mean, I guess I'm just confused. I can't see why they would have unloaded the genius who thought it was a good idea to approve the tagline (and this is no joke) "Ready or not. Here we come." The alternate choice must have been "When we're on the floor, we're not getting busted... by the cops."

You're tempted, aren't you? You could do worse. Just think, I've seen hurdles for third-graders that are higher than this one.

Look at me: the eternal optimist.

Someone, anyone go apply.


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Portland Trail Blazers Jobs: Vice President of Marketing

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September 20, 2006

Irony: Web.com

Well, my feed is working, so I know the server hasn't completely crashed.

Web.com (formerly Interland) is simply refusing to serve up Web pages. No doubt, because they want to keep all of my insightful, um, insight to themselves.

I know. It's my own fault for using that new fangled ".asp" tag so that I can use server side includes. Cutting edge. That's me.

I've asked them to go kick the box.

Stay tuned.


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Irony: Web.com

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September 14, 2006

Starbucks timeline: Well that was disappointing

UPDATE (September 19, 2006)

Still wallowing in self-pity and confusion over what will surely be termed the "Starbucks timeline fiasco" (well, I will refer to it that way, anyway), I did some digging of my own and was able to cull together enough to satisfy my morbid curiosity.

"How?" you may ask... Go ahead... Ask. Please? No? Okay, well. Forget it, I'll tell you anyway. (Besides, I can't really hear you, you know.)

Ahem. I satisfied my curiosity about the Starbucks timeline by combining the corporate "Starbucks timeline" (which is very informative but lacking in details about the transitions of the Starbucks identity), Deadprogrammer's Cafe's insightful "How the Starbucks Siren Became Less Naughty," and former-Starbucks-insider John Moore's Brand Autopsy entry entitled "The Evolution of the Starbucks logo." I even stopped by Terry Heckler's Heckler Associates site. (And if you've ever wondered where some of the most recognizable identities in the Northwest came into being, I suggest you do the same.)

Wouldn't it have been great if the Starbucks Anniversary Timeline described below had covered similar topics, instead of the mullet and the pet rock?

What's that? Remember, I can't hear you, you silly goose. But please stop, you're making me blush.


ORIGINAL POST

Given my not-so-private addiction to caffeine, my all-too-public love of marketing, and my long-time residence in the Pacific Northwest, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Starbucks is often on my radar.

So, once the hullabaloo about the re-release of Starbucks' original identity on its tall cups (I know. I know. You're all atwitter, as well. Calm down. Read on.), I headed over to the Starbucks Web site to check out the official line on the siren and her evolution.

What I found was the Starbucks Anniversary Timeline. Seems like exactly what I'm seeking, no?

*sigh* Could I have a moment please? Let's take a little break in the action to give you a little background. C'mon. Have a seat. Coffee?

Okay, so anyway. The Starbucks Web site. Where do I start? It's constantly a disappointment. For a company that spends so much time considering its image and its atmosphere, you'd think they might consider spending a few extra hours on their Web site. But do they? Not since I've been watching. But, that's okay. The interns need something to do.

So, suffice it to say, I'm at ease with my disappointment with the Starbucks site. Every time I visit it in all its circa-1997 glory, I am prepared to be disappointed. But I still get a little excited when I'm typing in the URL. Sort of hoping. And inevitably, it's like opening that present that turns out to be socks. I heave a sigh. Say oh well and close my browser.

So that's the history. Let's get back to our story. Cut to Rick typing in the URL.

*sigh* Not much has changed...

Wait a second. Wait A second. What is this? A historical timeline? Could this... could this be exactly what I was seeking?

Socks? Oh no my friend. More like dental floss.

The timeline is the quintessential representation of what is wrong with the Starbucks Web site. You go expecting one thing, and instead, get an entirely different experience. Culminating, of course, in your feeling more used than when you get charged $3.50 for a milky cup of coffee. Or a frozen thingee with about 30 packs of sugar in it.

The "Starbucks timeline" contains 16 entries. 10 of which are actually about Starbucks. What about "Starbucks timeline" did I misunderstand here. Because clearly it's me, right? I mean, it's not Starbucks is it? The other 6 entries? Oh really valuable stuff about pet rocks and mullets and Elvis. Yes, on the Starbucks timeline. No, I wasn't hallucinating from one too many quad con pannas.

Go see for yourself. Prepare to be disappointed.


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Starbucks timeline: Well that was disappointing

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